No contact is a load of crap… when I ignored my girl, the only thing that happened was her getting pissed off at me…

The only thing I did was make her dislike me more and give her a better reason to stay away from me. No contact after a breakup is simply twisting the knife deeper.

So my question is this…

Why does every successful “How to get your ex back” teacher, coach, and trainer -say to apply the no contact rule after a breakup!?

Why does every “pro” say it is the best way, even though just about every guy I talk to INCLUDING the pros, say that the girl will likely get angry, and even show resentment?

And seriously… If I ignore my girl too long… I am just afraid that she will move on…

This is what I hear everyday. I am told reason after reason that no contact “will not work in my situation”

YES… if you have kids together… if you work together… if you have class together… then you need a special plan.

Any other excuse is BS.

So… she gets angry, or she gets sad, or she says she will move on, or she says she found a new boyfriend, or she says that you must have never cared for her if you ignored her…

That means that no contact did not work for you, right?

WRONG

you need to quickly watch my video titled “the one question”

The full video is only available in my free members area. So sign up and get it.

You should watch the full video to get the best understanding… but here is the basic point.

EVERYTIME your girl contacts you after a break up… it is for one of only 2 reasons.

1. She misses you a little and wants to hear your voice.
2. She is trying to get you to do something… in otherwords
SHE IS TRYING TO CONTROL or MANIPULATE your actions.

If she says: “I can now see that you never cared about me… because you won’t even talk to me.”

It means: “Please call me to ‘prove’ that you are not an asshole… and moreover… ‘prove’ that all I need to do is be negative to get a reaction out of you”

This will condition her to think that she can get your attention at any time by being negative. Your response to her negativity… will:

1. Make you look weak and unattractive
2. Condition BAD relationship damaging behavior
3. Reinforce your mistaken idea that no contact was bad for the relationship, or will not work for your relationship
4. Give her the air she needs to get back up and forget about you.

No contact WILL damage your relationship if you do not follow through to the very end

No contact WILL damage your relationship if you try to change it to “fit your style”

No contact WILL damage your relationship if you use some watered down method, that does not put her into a complete panicked submissive state.

No contact WILL work in just about every situation in which the relationship lasted a year or more

You need to use no contact right… then START contact right, at the right time. To learn more… get your behind here:

About the Author Jess Jaydon

  • what you say is some what true but –

    she told me before if we brake up its no turning back once we done we are done no turning back thats what she said to me, then 2 weeks after that she broke up with me, so i think me even trying to contact her to get back with her will only make me look foolish to her an i think she will tell me no if i ask her out again she even might try to call the police on me if i do try to contact.

    give me so,me advise an let me know ty

    • Right. My video is confusing I know. I think CONTACT is stupid. I think NO CONTACT is good. The video starts by expressing the fear of using no contact. But those fears are wrong, and they are only true when no contact is used half-assed or incorrectly. The only exceptions are very short relationships and when children are involved. You must not contact your ex. The whole “no turning back” deal is complete BS. All girls say that. Here are my 3 rules for breakups. Rule #1: It is almost never too late for contact. Rule #2: It is almost always too early for contact. Rule #3: The words, the reasons, the things she says NEVER mean what they say. In your case, the things she said were not true. She may have actually believed in this “no turning back” idea…. but most people also believe that they are going to start working out 3 times a week for a new years resolution. How long do people continue to work out? Maybe a couple months. That is how long most girls stick to their “no turning back rule”. The second reason she said it was for two reasons: Consciously, she said it to induce fear in you… so that you would get your act together, but unconsciously, she said it to see if you would be putty in her hands (unattractive) or be an alpha male that calls her bluff and says… “If this relationship has that little importance to you, then lets end it now”

      Because face it… no turning back, in Laymen’s terms means… I want to run away, and that means you need to dump her fast.

      So relax, and never worry about what she says, because no matter what she says, it never means what she says.

      Jess

  • what you say is some what true but –

    she told me before if we brake up its no turning back once we done we are done no turning back thats what she said to me, then 2 weeks after that she broke up with me, so i think me even trying to contact her to get back with her will only make me look foolish to her an i think she will tell me no if i ask her out again she even might call the police on me if i do try to contact.

    give me some advise an let me know ty

  • I lived with my ex for about since last September, we rushed into the relationship and we were both very happy, before we met she was with this guy Scotty with whom she had a casual relationship, but once we got together she cut contact with him. I made a huge mistake in the first month, because I wasn’t completely over 2 of my exes, I was trying to get them out of my mind when I met her, long story short, she went through my phone and saw a text message to my ex 1 saying, “she’s not you” which really hurt her, I was her first love and she went ballistic, but we worked through it, and kept going then I messed up again by another text to the other ex’s friend saying that I couldn’t stop thinking about the her. And she saw that one too, and again, she was finished with me.

    Each time this happened she would contact someone from her past, but we continued on, because I explained to her I was getting over the other 2 and I stopped contact with them all together. The months that followed were difficult, I changed completely and put 200% into this relationship, but the damage was done, and it was very hard for her to trust me again, we decided to be together just not officially anymore.

    Then christmas came and I decorated our home and did a bunch of sweet things and got a bunch of presents, she went home to see her mom over the weekend, and she contacted Scotty because he had been fighting and promised not to add him back on facebook, but lied to me and did it anyway.

    We got into a huge fight over it, and she wouldn’t concede to delete him despite her promise. She claimed he was just a friend. Little did I know at the same time I had decorated the house she was cybersexing with another guy she had known for 3 years.

    It was Dec 27th when I found out, we had a nice christmas, but were fighting almost all of the time, I know now it was the tension of these 2 other guys she was talking to. The main reason for our fights, started with her being quick tempered or not caring about me. When I confronted her about the cheating, she denied it and called me crazy, until I told her I saw her emails, and the pictures. At which point she broke down and was so remorseful for what she had done.

    I forgave her and we got back together, unbeknownst to me that she was still contacting Scotty. January 10th she wanted to spend some time alone, her grandma who’s in and out of the hospital, was in the hospital again, and she claimed to need time to think about it.

    She had gotten all pretty, and when I remarked on why she simply said she felt like it. That night we got into a massive fight over her being negligent to me again, then the next day she claimed to need more time because I had kept calling her the night before, and after work she wanted to pick me, but I insisted she spend the time alone, because we had been fighting so much, and I wanted her to get whatever it was she was dealing out of her system.

    I left her alone for 4 hours, it was 10:47pm, I sent her a text, “How are you” an hour later she replies “I’m ok” and I’m livid, I had a feeling she was with another guy, and sent her a barrage of text messages and called her to ask what she was doing, she ignored me all night until 2 am at which point she texted “I’m not coming home” and the next morning I called and texted pleading for her to talk to me so we could end this farce in a calm way. But she continued to ignore me and it drove me nuts, I begged her to talk to me as I didn’t want to confront her at work which she knew I had to be there to pick up the car we share.

    And when she arrived, I was already beyond pissed, I asked her where she was, and she said a friends, she doesn’t have any friends in LA, she just moved here with me, the only friend is Scotty who just moved here last month. And I asked if it was Scotty, she laughed and smiled and said Yes. That was when I lost it, I screamed “how could you do this to me” and destroyed my phone, and cause the worse scene in front of her work, I went psycho, (i didn’t touch her at all but I’m ashamed of how I reacted) but I did scare her, I was screaming for someone to call the police, because I wanted to go to jail, I was destroyed.

    That night she moved back home to San Bernadino, 2 hours away. And she wouldn’t speak to me. Over the weekend she went to vegas on a preplanned trip w/ her best friend who hates my guts.

    I wrote her a 3 page sincere apology acknowledging my faults and her feelings. I admonished her from any guilt and blamed myself for the failure in our relationship.

    I had already got her birthday present and emailed her a few days before if I should mail it, and she replied yes, at which point I sent the letter, and the next night I couldn’t stop myself, I did the “text message terrorism” asking for what happened that night and asking her to explain what happened. No response.

    Last night she texted me about the phonebill we share, and I responded, and then asked her if she had read my letter, no response, I asked her if she still loved me, to which I got a reply, “no texting or calling” I had called her that night for the first time in 4 days since the 11th. It escalated because I wouldn’t stop texting at which point she threatened to have her mom call me, which she did to tell me to leave her alone and never speak to her, (I explained to her mom about the cheating the night she didn’t come home), I told her mom about Scotty again, and that I just needed answers, I could hear her in the background screaming with rage to get off the phone.

    That was last night. I sent her 2 more short letters to explain my case, that I needed the truth about what happened. She never admits fault. I love her dearly and I’m so sorry for scaring her with my reaction, (which incidentally she reacted the same way when she found the text to my ex.) she had now hurt me the same way I hurt her. I don’t think she planned this, but it is definitely my fault all this happened.

    She said she never wants to speak or see me again.

    Am I a lost cause?

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